


"I'm like a cat"

by Ambrose



Series: Dare to Write Challenge [28]
Category: Rookie Blue, The 100 (TV), Warehouse 13, Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, Past Lives, deaths. lotsa deaths, or some sort of closure at least, some Christine feels, with a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 19:24:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8546068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ambrose/pseuds/Ambrose
Summary: Helena wishes she could start it all over again. A lady should always be careful what she wishes for.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Grumpy_Grizzly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grumpy_Grizzly/gifts).



They say cats have nine lives. As the bomb is about to explode, as she knows she is about to die, Helena wishes she was one. She wishes she were as lucky as to have other chances at this, other chances to do better, to do right by Myka from the start, to have a daughter like Christina she would love and never lose. She wishes she could start anew, with none of the heartache. She makes that wish as she smells apples and remembers the first time she was here; she makes that wish as she stares at Myka, crying, and the whole world disappears in flames. She hopes her sacrifice wasn't for naught.

She doesn't know her wish has been granted, or that she just lost one of her nines when Artie brings them back. She tries to live away from the warehouse after all that is settled, she tries to forget. She knows she's hurt Myka more than enough in the past, and she doesn't want to do that again. Not in this life. But as she grows old she starts to regret, starts to wish she never did leave, that she did try again, that they did team up again. But it feels like it's too late, and she doesn't try to contact her again. 

When she passes away, at an older age than any of her acquaintances would ever imagine, she wishes she could have done more, but she is quite happy with her life. After all, how many people can boast of having created so many inventions, of having time-travelled, written world-famous books, and most of all, having survived the Warehouse. Her only regret is Myka.

 

In her next life, she doesn't remember. She comes to a world ravaged by wars. Her name is Lexa and she has to raise herself amongst harsh teachers, to do what is best for her world, to help all these people move forward. If she knew about her past life, she would appreciate the irony. Previous commanders speak to her once she's become the Commander - at what cost - and she believes her spirit will go on after her. Here too she falls in love, and here too it escapes her. 

She knows her dying right now, like this, is the stupidest thing, she knows she still has so much more to live, but she also knows this is the end for her. As she lay dying she hears Clarke's words.

 _In peace may you leave this shore. In love may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels, until our final journey on the ground... May we meet again_. 

Til next time, yes. She wishes it so too. She hopes Clarke finds her way back to her, somehow, in another life. 

 

She comes back to a time she's already lived before. Here her family is pressuring her, and she has standards to live up to, and if it's nothing her past self hasn't lived through in the Victorian era, her new self has to figure it for herself all over again. Gail follows her parents' wishes, she becomes a cop. She likes it, it's not like she doesn't. She even thinks she makes friends, she's part of a team again, something that feels oddly good and familiar even though she has never known it before in her lives. Many of her lovers are men, but when she really falls in love, it's for a woman. 

Holly is strong-headed, and not quite as sarcastic as her. She's also sweet, and a nerd, and if she remembered her she'd think of her Myka, and wonder whether it's really her. 

Then she meets Sophie. Sophie has lost everything. Her mother has died, she has no-one left in this world. It strikes a chord deep in her, and she wants to adopt her. She wants to make it right by her. She knows there are so many children out there, in pain, but if she can help only this one... 

Somehow she loses them both. Both Holly and Sophie go their own ways, one because maybe they weren't quite ready, weren't quite there yet to take such big steps as moving in together or adopting a little girl. The other because the system is deeply flawed, or she doesn't look enough like a proper mom, and they decide she's not meant for it. She gets no second chances. 

One day she gets fired at by some asshole criminal. She's not even at her job, she doesn't wear a vest, and the ambulances can't be quick enough. She wonders as she passes away, alone, whether Holly will be there for her funeral. She doesn't want to inflict that to her. She had always hoped that one day they would have their second chance, that she'd be able to fix it, to remember that they didn't bring just heartache in each other's lives, but joy too.

 

In her next life she is a cop again. There must be something with her and government jobs. The small town in Nowhere, Arizona she's sent to sees the weirdest manifestations (she's not sure whether her predecessor retired far away or was really killed by one of these _things_  she's not supposed to write about in her reports). 

Still, it's in the middle of nowhere that she falls in love again. Waverly is cute, and clever, and she just can't help it. Even if it's frustrating at first. This time when she gets shot at, she's lucky enough that she thought about a bulletproof vest. Maybe experience does carry out from one life to the next, even if she doesn't know it yet. 

One day, well into their relationship, they're invited by Gus for dinner, and suddenly she remembers. She smells apples. They're the apples of the pie Gus made, of course, but suddenly she's in another place, in North Dakota, in London, in Toronto. Places she once called home. Places she tried to make a home of with... Myka. Or were they really Myka? Different versions of her, because it cannot be otherwise - she cannot be the only one to go through lives looking for her. And you have to admit the similarities... She doesn't want to believe she just has a type.

Waverly feels her squeezing her hand and wonders if she's okay.

"I told you I was like a cat," she whispers, remembering something she said as Gail. 

Waverly looks at her weirdly, but she shakes her head. She can't tell her here, of course, not in front of Gus. But when she tells her, later, Waverly does believe her. She doesn't remember, of course, and she doesn't care to know whether she was someone else, too. And Nicole accepts that, whoever she was, long ago, she may not have that ever again, but she has changed, too, and loved, since then, and she loves Waverly as much as Lexa loved Clarke, or Gail loved Holly, or Helena loved Myka. Either way, she promises to make up in this life, and the lives to come, for all the opportunities her former selves have missed. 


End file.
